Poptarts and Players
by strawberryfinn
Summary: School's just out, but Cody gets sick and Zack has to take care of him. Meanwhile, Maddie and London are fighting about who is better with flirting with guys. R & R!
1. Chapter 1

**Note**: I do not own _The Suite Life of Zack and Cody._ I do not own any of the characters or any of the actors, but I _do_ own the plotline. I hope you enjoy. Review, please.

Cody pushed up the covers on his bed, and sat up, only then realizing that the room was spinning and he had a huge headache. "Oh no."

It was the _first_ day of summer vacation and he was _sick_. This was _not_ good. He got back in bed and lied down, trying to get rid of the dizziness. He heard a scuffle from the other room and knew it was Zack. His brother came over and started jumping on his bed, yelling, "Vacation! Vacation!"

Cody felt lucky that he didn't puke. "Stop," he moaned, pushing back his sweaty hair from his head. "I don't feel so good."

"You're _not_ sick?" Zack gasped in horror. "You _can't_ be! We were supposed to go to the movies today with Max and Tapeworm! How did _this_ happen?"

"It must have had something to do with you shutting me in the ice room down in the kitchen," Cody said disagreeably.

"Hey! You were cheating when we were playing Sardines! I _had _to teach you a lesson! I _only_ left you in there for like, what? One minute?"

"More like one _hour_," complained Cody. "And I _wasn't_ cheating! I _found_ you, and then I hid _with_ you! You're _supposed_ to do that in Sardines!"

"One hour, one minute, what's the big difference?" Zack asked. "And, you do _not _hide with me in the drying machine! There's not enough room! I thought you'd be smart enough to do that—you _were _the ones who brought home straight A's!" He sat casually on Cody's bed. "Oh well, I'll miss you." He paused. "Not!"

Cody moaned and turned over on his side. "I'm going to sleep."

"Good night, sweetie," Zack said in a completely corny voice. He turned and left the room. "Don't let the bugs bite."

"Arrggh," Cody moaned. Then he stopped. "What bugs?"

xxx

"Where's Cody?" asked Carey, as Zack walked in to the table and poured himself out a bowl of his new favorite cereal, Chocolate Sugar Bombs.

"Dihe's thishick," muttered Zack, shoveling away the extremely sugary cereal in his mouth.

"What?" Carey came over and pulled the cereal bowl away. "That's enough sugar for you."

"Shvat?" Zack spat out the cereal on the table to Carey's disgust. He swallowed, and continued whining, "What?"

"Where's your brother?" Carey asked calmly, ignoring Zack's complaints.

"What brother?" asked Zack.

"_Not_ funny," snapped Carey, leaning over the table to glare at him. "Where is Cody?"

"He's sick!" exclaimed Zack, grabbing back his Chocolate Sugar Bombs. Carey was too agitated to take them away.

"What?"

"I said, he's _sick!_" Zack said again.

"I heard you the first time!" yelped Carey. "Only, I have a gig—to see if I can get a record deal today. It will probably take most of the day, so I have to let you stay home and take care of Cody."

"Me? Take care of Cody?" Zack howled. "Did you just say that?"

"Did I just _say_ that?" Carey asked, looking horrified.

"Hey!" Zack retorted. "_I_ asked you first!"

"Please, Zack," said Carey looking at her son. "Please, I _really_ need to try this. It's something I've wanted for the longest time and I can't cancel it. Please… it would _only_ be one day and you have the _rest_ of summer…"

"Only one day?" Zack said incredulously. "_Only_ one day? The _last_ time I had to take care of Cody when he was sick, he fell down the stairs and broke his leg!"

"You _pushed_ him down the stairs and he broke his leg," reminded Carey. "He was _sick_ and you pushed him!"

"Hey, he was slowing down the traffic," Zack said angrily. A smile grew over his face. "Hey, if I did that _last_ time, how can I be trusted to take good care of him _this_ time?"

"You were six," reminded Carey. "You're older and more responsible now," she said, kissing his head. "_Please_, Zack. _Please_. I'll take you _anywhere_ you want if you just do this for me, for _one_ day."

"How about to Antarctica?" suggested Zack. "I've always wanted to meet an Eskimo."

"Cross out the _anywhere_," Carey said. "I'll get you that video game that you wanted."

"You mean _The City of Blood?_ The one where you can turn people's arms into weapons?"

Carey grimaced. "Yeah, but you can only play it when I'm out of the room."

"Deal!" Zack said, spitting on his hand and holding it out for Carey to shake.

Carey shook her head. "I promise—you can believe me."

"Ok," Zack said.

Carey sighed, went in to talk to Cody, and left, not watching the slow smile that spread over Zack's face.

xxx

Meanwhile in the lobby, London and Maddie were having a heated discussion near Maddie's candy counter.

"I can _to_ get a guy!" Maddie told London, whipping her blonde hair through the air.

"Maddie," London protested, "Maddie, you _can't_ get a guy like _I _can. Guys just like girls that are rich and famous."

"Yeah right," Maddie told her. "Guys like girls that are _smart_ and _independent_."

"They do _not!_" London said. "Look at this guy!" she yelped, pulling out a magazine that had a picture of Ryan Cabrera on it. "_This_ guy likes girls that are _famous!_"

"That's because he's a _celebrity_," said Maddie, pronouncing each syllable extremely clearly.

"So what if he's likes cotton candy? He still likes _rich_ girls."

"Ugh," Maddie moaned. "Forget it."

"See?" London said smugly. "_I_ win."

"No you _don't!_" barked Maddie. "You know what? I _bet_ you that a guy would like _me_ more than you!"

"You bet me what?" London asked. "Oh, by the way, I don't like cotton candy."

"What does cotton candy have anything to do with this?" Maddie wanted to know.

"Your shirt! It says 100 cotton candy."

"It says 'cotton,'" said Maddie exasperatedly. "And _if_ you win, I'll… uh, I'll…"

"You will ask Esteban to go out with you," said London.

"What?" Maddie almost shrieked.

Esteban looked over from where he was dusting the chandelier. "Is anything wrong Miss Maddie?"

"No, nothing," said Maddie, flustered. Esteban shrugged and went back to the chandelier. "Fine, but if _I _win, then _you_ have to give me one thousand dollars."

"Deal," said London simply. She shook Maddie's hand and the bet was on.

"I found a guy," she said, looking casually over the lobby. "That one…"

Review for more... haha, I wanted to try a comedy.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

Maddie followed London's eyes over to a guy standing and looking completely lost in the corner. She turned to London.

"Why him?"

It really didn't seem like the guy to choose to flirt with. He was short, with long dirty blonde hair that ended around his neck area. A side bang of his hair fell lazily over his right eye, and he was wearing a t-shirt over a long-sleeved shirt. His pants were low and sort of baggy, but his _appearance_ wasn't what was bugging Maddie. It was his _age_ level.

The kid looked like he was eleven—even younger than Zack and Cody! Why would London want to challenge her to flirt with this _kid?_

"Why? Are you _worried_?" taunted London.

"No!" said a flustered Maddie. If Zack Martin had a crush on her, how hard would _this_ kid be to impress? "I can do it!"

"Ok," said London, smiling. "Let's get started…"

xxx

Cody muttered softly and opened his eyes. Oh God, his head really hurt.

"AAAAAAH!" he screamed, as he saw two huge brown eyes right in front of his. He bolted up straight in his bed.

Zack moved casually back, where he had been staring intently at Cody's face.

"What was _that_ for?" Cody gasped breathlessly, after he managed to recover from the shock.

"I wanted to see if you were awake," said Zack calmly, getting off of Cody's bed.

"My eyes were _closed_!" said Cody indignantly.

"As I said, I was just checking," said Zack impatiently. "Come on, we're going."

"Where are we going?" coughed Cody. "We're staying home because I'm _sick._"

"Are you _sure_ you can't go? I'm going to a movie." Zack jumped on Cody's bed, giving Cody an even worse headache.

"You're _supposed_ to be taking care of me," said Cody. "Some job you'd get as a babysitter."

"Which is why I'm not babysitting," said Zack matter-of-factly.

Someone knocked on the suite door and Esteban came in. "I just came in to check on you little blonde peoples. I heard the Cody people was sick."

"Yeah, he is," Zack said, crossing his arms. Then he had an idea. "Hey Esteban, are you doing anything today?"

"Well, I must finish dusting the chandelier and delivering food to all the rooms and-- " he was cut off by Zack.

"Great!" Zack said. "You can take care of Cody!"

"Me?" Esteban asked. "I don't know anything about taking care of sick peoples. I have enough problems with taking care of ok peoples!"

"Don't worry," Zack said, assuring him with a wide smile. "Just do whatever Cody wants you to do, and you'll be ok. Ok? Here's my cell phone number, and so call me if anything goes wrong." He ran out of the room, leaving Esteban standing there.

"Oh no," said Esteban worriedly looking around. Then a thought occurred. "Cody? Where are you? Cody? Are you hungry? Hey! Where's my chicken?"

xxx

"Hi," said Maddie, popping out from behind the boy. "My name's Maddie. What's yours?"

The boy looked at her in surprise. He raised an eyebrow. "Uh, Ty."

"Oh, like bowtie!" Maddie laughed happily, trying not to show how stupid she felt talking to this guy. "So, do you want some candy?" Maddie was trying not to treat the guy like a little kid, but she couldn't help it, feeling so much more mature, seeing that she was almost three heads taller than him.

Ty arched an eyebrow, and looked at Maddie like she was stupid. So much for not looking stupid. "No, as in short for _Tyler_. _Not_ bowtie. And _no_, I do _not_ want any candy." He moved away from her. So much for flirting with him.

He had just managed to put a foot of distance from between them when London appeared seemingly out of nowhere.

"Hi. I'm London. London uh… Tipton! My daddy owns this hotel. I'm rich. I have a lot of money."

Ty looked horrified. "That's… nice."

"_I_ was just going to give Bowtie here some _candy,_" Maddie said, grabbing onto one of the kid's arms.

"Well _I,_ was just going to give uh… the kid 1,000 dollars," said London, grabbing onto Ty's other arm, and pulling him viciously back like they were two dogs fighting over a chew toy. "_And_, the _candy_ belongs to the hotel that belongs to my _daddy_ that belongs to ME!"

"Since when do you own your daddy?" Maddie wanted to know.

London paused, dropping Ty's arm and looking up. Maddie grabbed Ty and ran into the elevator.

"I've owned my daddy since I was born," said London, looking over at where Maddie should be. "Hey! Maddie! _Poor_ kid! Where are you?"

Mr. Moseby looked over from the counter. "Excuse me! London, where is that boy? Don't you know he's here because he's going to star in a _movie?_ He's a new child actor. London!"

It was too late. London was gone, already in the elevator. She was going to get Maddie and prove her point.

Review?

Oh, some of these characters may be familiar in real life. (CoughTYCough). These characters are not related to any real people. If you find somebody similar, that is just a coincidence.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3:

"Esteban?" Cody was astounded. "Where's Zack? Why are _you_ here?"

"You see Mr. Cody," Esteban explained, "Mr. Zack told me to take care of you for today."

"Zack was supposed to stay here!" Cody exclaimed. Then he slapped his hand to his head. "Oh God, headache."

"Would you like for me to show you how to get better?"

"Is it that fat chicken cure?" Cody asked. "I don't want it."

Esteban looked extremely dejected. "Oh, I know Mr. Cody," he said, his spirits raising, "I will make you breakfast."

"That'd be nice," Cody told him, going to sit on a couch.

Esteban went to Carey's small kitchen counter and dug through some of the cupboards.

"Oh no," he said, quietly. He realized he didn't know what to give Cody for breakfast. This was time to call Zack.

He used the phone and dialed the number that Zack had left scrawled on a piece of notebook paper, and listened as the phone rang.

"Hey," it was Zack.

"Mr. Zack," Esteban said worriedly. "Mr. Cody is awake now and I do not know what to feed him right now…"

"Just go pull out the box of poptarts, ok, Esteban? And I _told_ you not to call unless it was an emergency!" There were loud noises in the background, and Esteban suspected that Zack was at the theaters already.

"Ok, Mr. Zack. I apologize."

"Yeah, ok, whatever Esteban. Thanks by the way."

"No problem, Mr. Zack."

Esteban hung up and fished through the cupboards. "Noodles, Rice Krispies, a teddy bear," he held it up and hugged it, "ah, poptarts!"

He pulled the poptart out of the box, which was wrapped in a silver cover.

"Here Mr. Cody," he said, giving it to Cody, who was now resting on the couch.

"Poptarts!" Cody exclaimed when he saw the bag. "I can't eat poptarts for breakfast! They have no fiber source, no protein, no…"

"Ay yos mio," Esteban said worriedly. He called Zack again. "Mr. Zack, Cody will not eat the poptart."

"Tell him to eat it or you'll shove it up his…" Zack broke off, thinking better of it. "Tell him to eat it or else he can't have anything else. Feed it to him if you have to Esteban—he's sick, he _has_ to eat."

Esteban hung up on Zack and went over where Cody was staring sullenly at the poptart casing. Esteban ripped it open and held it up to Cody. "Eat it, Mr. Cody. Mr. Zack says you need to eat something."

"No," said Cody flatly, turning away.

"Oh no," Esteban said worriedly, breaking the poptart in half, which happened to be blueberry. "Come on, Mr. Cody, eat it."

Cody didn't answer.

"Vroom, vroom," Esteban said, pushing the poptart through the air like it was a car. "The car wants to go through the tunnel, Mr. Cody."

"Do you think I'm five?" Cody opened his mouth to protest, and Esteban stuffed the poptart in. Cody tried to spit it out, but Esteban pushed his jaw up, and Cody had no choice but to swallow.

"No, I do not think you are so young, but my niece will eat if I do that. But you ate it, did you not, Mr. Cody?"

"Yeah, ok," Cody said, leaning into the couch. "I'm going to sleep now."

"Good for you, mi hijo," Esteban said. "Go to sleep now, Mr. Cody, if I may call you that." He began to sing a lullaby, and Cody opened his eyes in horror, so he stopped.

xxx

"Come on, kid," Maddie said, shoving Ty hard against the wall. "Say you like me! Say you like me more than London!"

"Are you _kidding _me?" Ty wanted to know. Maddie had dragged him up to the sixteenth floor and was now standing in the hallway yelling at him. "Why would I like somebody who basically _kidnapped_ me? Are you some kind of child molester? Because you know, I _do_ have a bodyguard."

"Oh, great job your bodyguard's doing," Maddie said sarcastically. "I saw him in the dining room, stuffing his face with cupcakes."

"Drat!" Ty muttered some expletives under his breath. "That's always been his greatest weakness."

"Now, say you like me more than London!"

"Is London your dim-witted friend?" asked the kid with a tone of superiority. "That dolt."

"Don't you call my best friend a dolt!" Maddie yelled. "Wait… that's actually pretty good… I like you, kid…"

"Yeah," Ty said, shaking his hair out of his eyes. "But _I _don't like you." He started to edge away from Maddie, and was grabbed viciously by London who seemed to appear out of nowhere.

"Hey, uh… Ty…" London broke off, looking stupidly at the ceiling. Then she remembered what she wanted to say. "Here's $1,000—say you like me more than Maddie."

"I don't accept bribes," said Ty, jerking his arm out of London's grasp. "I don't like either of you. I'm leaving."

Before either of the girls could do anything, Ty had gone to the elevator and back down to the lobby.

xxx

"Ay yo mismo," Esteban said anxiously.

Cody had broken out in a large red rash and was now moaning with his eyes closed. "Zack don't you dare touch that! Don't worry, Zack, I'll bail you out of jail! Thank you, I accept the Nobel Peace Prize."

"Mr. Cody," Esteban said, shaking Cody. Cody didn't drop out of his delirious state, but continued talking to himself.

"Oh no," Esteban said, running to the phone. He dialed Zack's number.

xxx

Zack's cell phone went off and Max gave him a dirty look.

"Didn't the Inconsiderate Cell Phone Man ad teach you _anything?_ I mean, _you_ were the one who thought it was annoying! I thought it was bad when I went to the movies with Tapeworm and he ate ten buckets of popcorn—I didn't know you were even worse!"

Tapeworm, who was eating popcorn with his eyes glued to the screen, didn't even look over.

Zack gave Max a dirty look and opened his cell phone. It was Esteban. Surprise, surprise.

"Hello," he angrily whispered, keeping his voice down.

"OH NO MR. ZACK!"

Zack drew back the phone from his ear. For some reason Esteban was screaming.

"Esteban, keep your voice down!" Zack said, his voice level beginning to raise, and people around him giving him dirty looks.

"Mr. Zack," Esteban whispered now, so softly that Zack could barely hear him.

"Esteban, talk normally."

"Mr. Zack, something happened to Mr. Cody and he will not wake up now. He's telling everything about how much you like Miss Maddie and how he secretly wears Power Rangers underwear and how your hero is Batman. Wait, Mr. Zack, I never knew that you wore Care Bear underwear with hearts on them…"

Zack felt himself flame. "Don't mention that again, Esteban. What's wrong with him?"

"I do not know, Mr. Zack. I tried everything from jumping to him, and hitting him with a chair and ay yos mio, I even tried putting ice cubes down his neck. He is not waking up."

"Oh God, Esteban, what did you do?" Then a thought occurred to Zack. "ESTEBAN!"

Somebody chucked a whole carton of popcorn at Zack. He reached up, picked a kernel out of his hair, and ate it, trying to keep his heart beat steady.

"Yes, Mr. Zack?"

"What type of poptart did you give Cody?"

"I do not know, Mr. Zack. I do not read the nutrition labels. They make me suffer from severe depression."

"FORGET THAT! WHAT COLOR WAS IT?"

Somebody chucked a full size Coke at Zack. It narrowly missed him. Tapeworm grabbed it, shrugged, and started to drink it. "Keep your voice down, Zack."

"I believe it was blue, Mr. Zack," Esteban said. "Why is that of such importance?"

"Oh God, BLUEBERRY!" Zack slammed the cell phone shut on Esteban's confused vocice.

"Shut up!" a fat man yelled. Zack gave them a dirty look, as he got out of the row and ran out of the doors, telling Max and Tapeworm he was sorry but he had an emergency at home.

"Oh God, Esteban, blueberry. Cody's deathly _allergic_ to blueberries! Oh God, Mom is going to _murder_ me…"

Review? It was sort of crummy, but I had fun writing it. Answered the poptart question for you all.


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